I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
