Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is my gift to your gina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
