Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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