if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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