I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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