Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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