Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
