i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
