just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
