We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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