you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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