just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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