I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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