So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
