Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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