why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
