Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
