Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
