i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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