They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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