i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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