I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
