Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
