how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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