i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
