She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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