Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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