New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
