i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
