uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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