New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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