my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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