is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
