oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
