that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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