how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
