Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
