Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
