My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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