If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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