IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
