I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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