He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
