i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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