So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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