My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
