they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
