yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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