last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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