My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
