Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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