I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
